If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way.

More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.