It's never just a game when you're winning.

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

Granola didn't sell very well when it was good for you. Now it has caramel, chocolate, marshmallow, saturated fat and sweeteners with a small amount of oats and grains. Sales picked up.

Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'

I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.