Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George CarlinA lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George CarlinThe other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George CarlinWhen someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin