We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.

One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.