Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!

You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.

Life is not that complicated.

I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.

Most people are not particularly good at anything.