Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are already established in my mind as things I say, things that I'm interested in, things that are fodder for my [stand-up] machine. And when I see something that relates to one of them, I know it instantly and if it's a further exaggeration and a further addition, or an exception - if it plays into furthering my purpose, I jot it down.

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

In my neighborhood - West 121st Street in New York, "white Harlem" - there were only two drugs: smack and marijuana. By the time I was 13, some friends and I were using marijuana fairly regularly. The Reefer Madness myth was still very strong then, but I'd been into jazz and those lyrics included so many casual references to pot that it was completely demystified for me.

Christian Deodorant: "Thou Shalt Not Smell"

If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?

A pear is a failed apple.