Always do whatever's next.

There are only two types of motorists: the idiots who drive slower than me, and the lunatics who go faster.

I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.