Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I've just completed a five-year period that can perhaps best be called a breathing spell. A time of getting my health back and gathering my strength. That time also included incredible cocaine abuse, a heart attack and my wife's recovery from both alcoholism and cocaine abuse.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

If you can't say something nice about a person, go ahead