Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.

Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.