Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.

I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio.

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

I never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and the gram was three quarters gone, I'd start wishing it was nine o'clock and hoping the guy got up early. But, of course, he didn't sleep either, so there was no sweat. During all those years, I was always looking forward to the next snort or the next guy I could score from.

I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.