What year did Jesus think it was?

Life is tough, then you die.

One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are.

Jesus was a cross-dresser.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.