It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.

I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.

Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That kind of thing makes me happy. The fact that people, in pursuit of a superficial look of health, give themselves a fatal disease. I love it when 'reasoning' human beings think they have figured out how to beat something and it comes right back and kicks them in the nuts. God bless the law of unintended consequences. And the irony is impressive: Healthy people, trying to look healthier, make themselves sick. Good!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?