People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.

The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.

Let's not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.

I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.

hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.