People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

It's never just a game when you're winning.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.

Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality to it, but a joke is about surprising someone. I'm a great believer in context. You can joke about anything. I do like finding out where the line is drawn, deliberately crossing it and bringing some of them with me across the line, and having them be happy that I did.