Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.