Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, which is usual with cattle, but to do the buying. And everyone is branded.

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way.