The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.

Everything beeps now.

If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Every time you're exposed to advertising in America you're reminded that this country's most profitable business is still the manufacture, packaging, distribution, and marketing of bullshit. High-quality, grade-A, prime-cut, pure American bullshit.