Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

All Christian religions are outer-directed. "Who can I convert?" "Let's go to this country and make them Christians." "Wear this." "Do that." "No, don't worship that way. Worship this way or I'll kill you - for the good of your soul, of course." Meanwhile, followers of Eastern religions are sitting in the middle of their minds, experiencing a bliss and a level of consciousness that Western man can't begin to approach.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change.

The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.