When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.

How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.