Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Political discourse has been reduced to "Where's the beef?" "Read my lips," and "Make my day." Where are the assassins when we really need them?

I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.

My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.