My father and mother separated when I was two months old.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

It was just a compulsion. In fact, I soon realized that the only thing I really enjoyed was the actual snorting.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.

If there were only one cherry pie in the world, and Bill Clinton owned it, I might get a piece of it. If Bush or Reagan owned it, you'd have to kill them to get a piece of pie. That's my feeling about Bill. And Bill's a good bullshitter. America likes a good bullshitter. That's one of the reasons he was re-elected. Honesty has no place in politics. It would throw everything off.