Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.

People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.

We are all precancerous.

Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?

A woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done.

I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.