In my fifth-grade yearbook - it's right up there on the top shell - the last page says, "What about your future?" and under my name, it says, "When I grow up, I would like to be either an actor, a radio announcer, an impersonator or a comedian."

Life is a series of dogs.

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!

Meow” means “woof” in cat.

The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?