Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""

That's basically what the drive is: "I want to be famous, I want to be noticed, and I want to be approved of." That's basically what you're after. "Give me attention, give me applause, give me an audience. A. A. A. Straight As." That's all you're looking for.

Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.