Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? "Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself."

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem.

I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.

Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?