Somebody once said that Hollywood is based on a lot of producers deliberately making bad movies, and every now and then somebody gets lucky.

I love it in a movie when they throw a guy off a cliff. I love it even when it's not a movie. No, especially when it's not a movie.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.