If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.

If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly reappeared on our bodies at the same time.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.