Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Cancer research is a growth industry.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.
Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."