I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

In restaurants where they serve frog's legs, what do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they just throw it away? You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley? I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheeseburger and open the lid on that

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?