I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

Language always gives you away.

Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

A woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done.