A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with.

For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.