Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
George CarlinEngineers at General Motors have developed a revolutionary new engine whose only function is to lubricate itself.
George CarlinYou know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years. So we're good at it!
George CarlinSpirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are.
George Carlin