Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are.

Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.

I saw Danny Kaye in a movie, and he was doing voices and faces on that big, big screen and making whole audiences laugh. It was just an instant hookup.

I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.

The ending of my experience with cocaine came in a periodic way. I would get high less frequently, I would use smaller amounts, and I would do coke for less periods of time. And that process just kept increasing and increasing until I wasn't using it at all. I didn't go on a program anywhere. I didn't join an organization or detox anywhere. I just slowly tapered off until it was gone. That was also true of my heavy pot use. I just tapered off until there was almost no use at all. And the same thing was true of drinking tons of beer.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.