You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.

What wine goes with Captain Crunch?

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.