Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

My father and mother separated when I was two months old.