Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

If a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've had enough.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.

An art thief is a man who takes pictures.