There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.

There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.

George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

I also survived circumcision, a barbaric practice designed to remind you as early as possible that your genitals are not your own.

When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.