Pardon me I've got nothing to say.

I loved the angiogram. They stick a thing in your thigh and it goes all the way up to your heart. Isn't that a thrill? Well, at least the nurse scored thigh.

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.

If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.