If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else?

My mother didn't get home until about seven most nights and, yes, there was a sense of being very alone after school. She gave me all the proper guidance and influences, but physically, she just couldn't be there.

Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.

Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack.

I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. The difference for me is that conservatives are more interested in property values and rights and free markets, and liberals are more interested in human rights. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

If you can't say something nice about a person, go ahead