My grandfather, mother and father were gifted verbally, and my mother passed that along to me. She always made sure I was conscious of language and words.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

Abraham Maslow said that the fully realized person transcends his local group and identifies with the species. But the election of Ronald Reagan might've been the beginning of my giving up on my species. Because it was absurd. To this day it remains absurd. More than absurd, it was frightening: it represented the rise to supremacy of darkness, the ascendancy of ignorance.