I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

Primitive societies, or social groupings, had shamans, and some of them even more recent in time. Shamans were tricksters. There was a tradition of the trickster, and the trickster was a clown, a humorous fellow. His task was to trick the gods, to humor the gods into laughing, so that there was access to the divine - because laughter is a moment when we are completely ourselves.

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.