The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.

As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.

Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."