I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

Mother's milk leads to everything.

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't know where they're going, what is going to happen, but they know they are not there yet, and there is some continuity and growth. I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.