I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.

I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!

Language always gives you away.

There are only two places in the world: over here and over there.

Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.