The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left side of it. I believe the difference between right and left is that the right, for the most part, the bulk of their philosophy is interested in property, and the rights of people to own property and gain and acquire and keep property. And I think on the left - though they blend and mix - on the left primarily you will find people who are more concerned about humans, and the human condition, and what can be done.

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.