Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations; he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.