Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.