In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.

Early in my career I was divided because I had the real self underneath: the lawbreaker, the anarchist, the person who swims against the tide, the outsider, the loner, all of that guy. He was my private self, and I had this other side that wanted to be liked in order to do all those things I dreamed of as a little boy. I didn't realize that those things didn't go together until later. And I'm quite sure that my use of acid and peyote helped me accept what was really going on inside of me instead of what I had imposed on myself.

For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.

I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio.

Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.