The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George CarlinI think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George CarlinIn restaurants where they serve frog's legs, what do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they just throw it away? You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley? I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheeseburger and open the lid on that
George CarlinPoliticians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.
George CarlinIt's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That kind of thing makes me happy. The fact that people, in pursuit of a superficial look of health, give themselves a fatal disease. I love it when 'reasoning' human beings think they have figured out how to beat something and it comes right back and kicks them in the nuts. God bless the law of unintended consequences. And the irony is impressive: Healthy people, trying to look healthier, make themselves sick. Good!
George Carlin