If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.

If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?

Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.