You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.

I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>>.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes