There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

Children should be taught to question everything . . . everything they read and everything they hear.

And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?