What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George CarlinI was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George CarlinRegarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.
George CarlinI'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George CarlinIt turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
George Carlin