As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

If you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church.

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

The owner of a Florida massage parlor has been arrested by police. "There weren't any serious violations," said the officers, "she just rubbed us the wrong way."