Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, which is usual with cattle, but to do the buying. And everyone is branded. You see the brands - Nike, Puma, Coke - all over their bodies. Pretty soon you'll go to a family and say, "$100,000 if we can tattoo Pepsi on your child's forehead, and we'll have it removed when he's twenty-one. A hundred grand."

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.

Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!

If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else?

How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.